Indian Pizza and America

My stomach has been pleading with me for a few days now to put something in it besides rice and Indian vegetables. My friends, apparently, were feeling the same way, so we headed to the rickshaws in search of Pizza. We gave the driver the address of Pizza Hut, figuring that was about as American of a place as we could get in India -- little did we know that when we arrived at that address, it was something even more American: "Uncle Sam's Pizza!"

Going inside was like entering a bizarro world of American cliches filled with Indian people eating pizza. We briefly looked at the menu, but stopped at the first page: all you can eat salad, garlic bread, and pizza for about $4 US. We were sold.

The salad, as it turned out, was mostly Indian takes on typical American food -- like a curried macaroni salad, and a green salad filled to the brim with cilantro. Next, the waiter (dressed, inexplicably, in a referee's outfit) brought the garlic bread which, thankfully, was extremely Americanized -- greasy and delicious. The pizza came in three variations which were brought to us in turns by the side judge...I mean waiter. The first was Pizza Margarita, which was a basic cheese pizza, though the sauce strangely resembled barbeque sauce, unfortunately. The second pie was onion and pepper (or, to be British about it: capsicum). The third pizza, Spicy Corn was, surprisingly, despite its ominous name, the best. It featured a very thin crust, and a good combination of cheese and spices (and yes, of course, corn). And, obviously, no American meal would be complete without a brownie sundae, which, after desserts such as ras malai (sugary, cream to yellow-colored balls of paneer soaked in clotted cream) came as a welcomed respite.

But, while the food was okay, the highlight was clearly the decor. It featured many strange items, including what was perhaps a makeshift modern interpretation of Mount Rushmore featuring the heads of Lincoln, Kennedy, Clinton, and Bush II. The next panel featured the skyline of New York, but with the Twin Towers still standing. To its right was a crazy caricature of Michael Jackson, next to, for no apparent reason, Mr. Bean (who, needless to say is not American). There were also random Euro-football players, and then a big HOLLYWOOD sign with the scariest Marilyn Monroe I've ever seen. She looked like a Susan Boyle ventriloquist doll with strange lines on her face.

We wanted a break from curry -- and we got it (along with a bunch of strange USA allusions), and we left with both our stomachs and our Patriotism quite satisfied).









Awkward American Awkwardly Eating Ice Cream in an Indian/American Pizza Restaurant (also, please notice the sweet $10 watch):